What the Discovery Channel Won’t Tell You During Armageddon Week

Back in simpler times, people turned to God and religion to answer their questions. Whether it was spiritual advisement, or personal direction or the bigger philosophical questions of “what does it all mean”; the churches and their leaders had the answers.

Personally, I had thought that Freud and modern counseling took a lot of that power of people away from the churches and religions. Instead of going to traditional confession to make people feel better about their lives or their supposed “sins”, they went to lie down on a therapists couch and have the counselor tell them either what to do, or give them direction or inform folk that they were “normal.” In a way, absolve them of their sins and a new direction for those acts of contrition.

Keyword Research Shows that Google is the New God

Keyword research has given me more insight into the human mind and the needs of the collective unconsciousness. Depending on the focus of my particular research at the time, I have noticed that many people turn to Google now for the same things.

In particular, I have seen this hold true for subjects that really have to do with the deeper needs of the human race. For example, in my work with adoption issues, I know that people type into their Google search bar their desire to find their lost families members so searches will be along the lines of “How to I find my real mother?” or “Where to located a baby placed for adoption?” When conducting keyword research for a nursing home, many of the search results sounded more like prayers offered up to the heavens, “What can I do with my mother and her dementia?”   Look into keyword research for things like abuse and you will see results that really do sign like a cry for help: “free legal aid in Taunton area for abused wife” and “keep abusive husband from spying on my cell phone”.

Just Google it

Much like the humans have always turned to those they see as more knowledgeable or all knowing to handle and give advice, we now turn to Google for the same answers.

I know I fall under the heading of a Google junkie. Even before I knew what a blog was or what SEO stood for, I, along with millions of others, favored Google as my search engine of choice.  I did like the Yahoo commercials better, but Google was my top choice to find what I needed. I sure didn’t have the means to judge them at all as a search engines then, I just knew that when I typed something in, Google found what I wanted.  In fact, very quickly, I mocked folks or looked at them with distain when they asked a question or used another search engine, “Just Google it!”  Truthfully, even now, I don’t understand the concept of not knowing something when Google is about and now, since Google really IS fickled God of the SEO/ SMM world, it has even more power.

Thou Shalt Not Have No Other Gods Before Google

In my active imagination, the search engine landscape and the internet in many ways is like the early birth of religions in our world.  A land of many pagan gods, many different religions fighting for control over the common man and the unwashed masses. Each one proclaiming that THEY are the best and for whatever reasons. The Jews are the chosen people, but Bing is a customized search. Buddha is the living light, but YouTube is the second largest search engine. Only the Jehovah’s Witness shall have a place in heaven, and AOL was the uber patriotic all of “America” online.

Druids and Alta Vista

While not as literally bloody as many religious wars in history, the wars, stock crashes, and buy-outs between internet gods have also given us clear winners and losers. Even now, we see the last of the big three, Google, Yahoo and now Bing, be reduced to probably really only two. AOL is all but died out except by those who cannot adapt any further after making the big move to that new fangled email thing. Soon names like Alta Vista might only be heard when cyber archeologists dig deep in the old data bases and find fire walled stone caches much like the Dead Sea scrolls.

Of course, now I clearly recognize Google as my one true God and I bow down to its power. I defiantly spend more time wonder what would make Google happy rather than what would make any other traditional God happy; a concept I would think can be understood and also agreed to by many a person into SEO and the rankings of things online. Yes, people still go to churches; but we also go to geek conferences and live to have a one on one with Matt Cutts! Clearly, “Oh, God why have you forsaken me?” can be easily replaced with “Oh Google, why have you not crawled my site?” In fact, take almost any classic Hollywood Bible movie, remove Charlton Heston’s speaking line, replace the “God” with Google and add a geek phrase and a pair of nerdy glasses (or just make it a cute bald guy) and it’s better than a Family Guy moment in geek world.

As Google eats up the lesser threats or incorporates the better ones like YouTube, we all see how all powerful and all knowing Google will be. I don’t think that many will argue that in due time, Google will control just about everything online to some degree. Many even say that Google wields all too much power already, but Google is very very good at what Google does.

Google Gives People What They Need

That’s why Google would be the perfect true antichrist! As a recovering Catholic, I have to stay away church so my Bible references are very rusty, but Wiki says that the antichrist will seemingly provide for the needs of the people but deny the ultimate salvation. The apostle Paul  write that the antichrist will possess a number of characteristics including “sitting in the temple”, opposing himself against anything that is worshiped, claiming divine authority, working all kinds of counterfeit miracles and signs and doing all kinds of evil.  We are also supposedly unable to figure out who the antichrist will be until it is too late, as he will be so unsuspecting.

Google is the Perfect Antichrist

It already gives people what they need. I doubt that any real ultimate salvation will come from Google in the biblical sense, though I am a believer in the power of the internet and I am not sure about my ultimate salvation at all. So does that mean that I have already been seduced by the antichrist?

I can see the web and Google rein over it as some sort of a technological temple. Google does oppose itself against all else online; either just overpowering it or incorporating it. The authority part is a no brainer. Again, I like the “miracles” of Google; the power of knowledge at my fingertips, the ability to be heard just by producing content and sending it out into the air. Signs could be just about anything, but what is the internet and Google but a vast network of signs, character, text and code? And for evil; well there are those who claim that the internet is for porn. So if Google IS the internet and the internet is for porn and porn is evil, hence Google is evil too, right?

Armageddon: Waiting for 2012

It’s a wacky concept, but kind of fun to think about. I suppose someone could take it very far and they might get a bit freaked out by it? Some one better prepared might be able to throw in some more conspiracy theories and End of Days ideas and give it more legs. IS Google really the SkyLab that Arnold Schwarzenegger tried to warn us about in Terminator? Did Nostradamus have anything to say about Google? How about the Mayans? I haven’t heard anything yet about it on the Discovery Channel and Armageddon week is almost over.

For Now, Google is the Key to Homeland Security

Sorry, I must go off on this tangent due to the evening news:

Can someone please explain to me why, if Google can index little snippets on information across the WHOLE internet, categorize it, rank it, file it, and then produce often millions of seemingly unrelated individual URLS in seconds; then how come they can have a Google system for national security????

They keep on talking about how hard it is to connect the dots, and I can imagine it is, but don’t we have tools, like Google, for that?  Now they are saying that the Christmas plane suspect terrorist got a visa because someone misspelled his name. Hello, Google understands misspellings!

Imagine this: What if when the CIA gets a small bit of intelligence about terrorist suspect Abul Jabbawoky and they feed that into the Homeland Evil Doer Google. The spiders will immediately do their thing, index it and file it. Maybe, then, it immediately shows you what other little bits of information that it categorized it with…just in case this last bit of info triggers a red flag.

Even if they didn’t have real names to connect it with, the info about bad things in Yemen will show up, ranked, in all the possible Yemen like results.  A snippet of info about someone getting all radicalized in Nigeria would hit all the Nigerian results. And if the FBI heard something fishy about men named Abul, then all the Abul results would show the FBI info. Images and photos from Visa info and passports and standard people searches too. I don’t know. I’m not in the secret services; but can someone tell me why any of those uber “smart” folks haven’t yet figured out how to actually DO something like this? They have geeks there too! Heck, they could probably just use regular Google and it would work better than what they are doing now.

And THANK YOU to Keith Olbermann who just said the same thing on Countdown! Whew.. another logical person! I wonder if he would agree with me that Google could be the antichrist?

Climbing down off soapbox, now. Got to offer a sacrifice to the great God Google.


Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy is Director of Social Media at DragonSearch and thinks all too much about life in terms of the internet. We try to get her to go put more, but she gets too nervous if she is off line for too long.

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